Freshman Romances: Double-Edged Swords?
Driscoll Callan ‘25
Art by Ysabella Beatriz Chiongbian Punzalan ‘25
A whirlwind of emotions accompanies the start of college—fear of the unknown, reluctance to leave the safety of home, excitement to meet new people, the readiness to reinvent oneself.
Living in a different environment is daunting in and of itself, so adding hundreds of new faces to the mix, as well as new responsibilities, only makes the transition tougher. Unfamiliar experiences can act as motives for freshmen to find themselves in relationships, and thus exciting—though undoubtedly complicated—journeys begin.
Crushes are exciting. It’s fun to like someone, waiting for the moment they text you, the moment when you’ll see them at Bates, wondering if you’ll bump into them as you walk between classes. Crushes are also extremely distracting. Skidmore student Marisa Donovan ‘25 recently got into (and subsequently out of) a relationship within the first few weeks of school. “When you’re living on campus together it can be hard to find space. Everything moves very fast and it’s terrifying,” Donovan said.
Living on the same campus as your significant other can cause the relationship to progress significantly faster than it might otherwise. A person finds someone who seemingly cares for them, so they latch on in order to cultivate a sense of stability.
A Sarah Lawrence freshman, a tall brunette who favors charm necklaces, agrees with this sentiment. She said that, “Being in a ‘relationship’ at the beginning of college is great since it has made it really easy for me to find my footing when I feel like I have a support system and someone that cares about me always on standby.”
However, she acknowledges that being in a relationship may affect how others perceive you. The ability to reinvent oneself is made harder when you are introduced in tandem with your significant other. “It has made it more difficult for me to introduce and frame myself as my own human being when we are often perceived as together,” she said.
The amount of time that a romantic relationship requires can lead to tension in other relationships. “My roommate’s ‘friends with benefits’ situation has led to some extremely awkward situations between us three, mainly because she doesn’t always ask if he can come over,” said another anonymous Sarah Lawrence source.
Strained relationships between roommates are detrimental to the quality of dorm life. One’s escape into their social circle may be hindered by the additional strain placed on the group’s dynamic. A different Sarah Lawrence freshman, attached at the hip with her film-bro boyfriend, remarked that it can be “difficult to deal with FOMO and the feeling that I’m not getting as close to everyone in the friend group because I’m always with him.” She also pointed out that her studies have been unintentionally placed on the back-burner, something she’s been actively trying to rectify with better time management—which can be difficult even when you’re single.
However, she acknowledged that, “It is nice though to have someone because it’s actually helped me branch out of my comfort zone regarding people. Even though I sometimes feel like I’m missing out, I’ve met so many more people because he’s introduced me to his friends and vice versa.”
None of this is to say that quickly-formed relationships don’t have their upsides. A new relationship comes with a sense of stability, as well as excitement at the prospect of getting to know this new person. Austin Saigal ‘25 said, “People are going to find one another no matter what, it’s just important that they remember to prioritize themselves and their mental health above all else.”