Learn How To Treat Yourself Right: Our Guide To Sex Toys

What if I told you that you did not need to go on Tinder or OkCupid for casual sex? That you could have a lot of fun without ever leaving your bed. Sometimes, sex is about figuring out how two different bodies can come together, providing mutual pleasure and exciting new experiences. Other times, a person just needs to get off.

If you are looking for a sexual partner that knows your body, has a lot of experience handling it, and is ready at a moments notice, look no further than straight down, to your left hand, or your right hand, or whatever you normally use. Now, the only problem with being in charge of your own pleasure is that while hands do a great job getting the job done, sometimes we need some variety. That is when you pull out the big guns – the sex toys. Coming in all shapes, sizes, speeds and textures, the arena has changed a lot since the days of the dauntingly sized dildos and the ever-infamous rabbit vibrator.

In the past, buying a vibrator meant wandering into a male-run, seedy sex shop. Now, purchasing your special assistant is as easy as a click of your mouse or an even more enjoyable visit to your closest feminist sex shop. Below are a few specially selected items, for a handful of different scenarios to get your gears going. This guide by no means unlocks all secrets of the sultry world of solo sex, but it can serve as one hell of a jump-start.

Babeland Buzz Vibe  bullet vibrator, $12 via  babeland.com  

Babeland Buzz Vibe bullet vibrator, $12 via babeland.com 

Bullet Vibrators

For those interested in dipping their toes into the sea of sex toys, bullet vibrators are the way to go. Small enough to slip into a pocket or a bedside table, these beauties are perfect for people on the go. As the name implies, this small oval device is the perfect starter toy for those who are not sure yet of what they want. Priced around $12, these beauties are also one of the cheapest options. If you are wondering where to place this vibrating bullet, the answer is anywhere.  Though it is often used for clitoral stimulation, who does not like to add a little vibration to their routine? I can give you a hint: whatever you place this baby against, it will begin to vibrate. This makes it the ideal shared toy for couples as well.

Babeland Orchid G  G-Spot stimulator, $22 via  babeland.com  

Babeland Orchid G G-Spot stimulator, $22 via babeland.com 

G-Spot Toys

Though the prices for sex toys can range widely, the concept for each is the same. Stimulating that special spot inside the vagina dubbed the G-spot can be a tricky bit of business, considering the easiest way to get the job done is through consistent and repetitive pressure. This is where technology steps in—even though your fingers might get tired, these toys will not. Built slightly curved with a large knob at the end, these toys are angled in a way that lets you hit a home run every time.

Babeland Ocean Mini Vibe  quiet vibrator, $70 via babeland.com 

Babeland Ocean Mini Vibe quiet vibrator, $70 via babeland.com 

Quiet Toys

Let us be real for a second: no, this category does not have to do much with parts of your anatomy, but it has a lot to do with being able to masturbate in peace. In our crazy college lives it can often be a race to find that special quiet time to get the deed done, but even when the opportunity arises, the noises from next door can leave one paranoid. Though these toys, such as the ocean mini vibe or the minna ola can be a little pricier, some say it is worth the peace of mind. On that note, I feel the need to put a disclaimer that sex toys can be expensive. That is ok. Even if it means saving up a long time for a decent toy, it is worth it. The reason these toys can be pricy is because when it comes to sticking things inside or around your most sensitive areas, you need to have high quality materials. Trust me, it is worth it.

Babeland Pop Plugs  butt plugs, $15- $20 via  babeland.com  

Babeland Pop Plugs butt plugs, $15- $20 via babeland.com 

Butt toys

When choosing a special toy to add to their collection, people often forget about the back door. Though many consider it taboo, it would be a shame not to try something just because of its location. Though some might assume they are all created equal, whether or not you have a prostate is the real question. Comparable to the female G-spot, the prostate gland is easily accessible with certain angled toys. While the ideal toy for the ladies should be flared at the base, to get the most out of those exterior nerve endings, male anatomy dictates a thin and curved vibrating toy to reach the ever elusive P-spot.

by Ariela Brody ‘16

SLC Phoenix

The Phoenix is a non-profit, student-run publication representing the voices and opinions of Sarah Lawrence College community members. Our print edition publishes bi-weekly on Tuesdays, and our online edition is updated multiple times per week. Anyone may attend our open meetings at 9:00 PM on Wednesday nights in the North Room of the Pub.